Grandparents Day - Family Tree

Ask any kid: Grandparents rule. They're known worldwide as great companions and often shower their grandchildren with special treats and lots of love. Some kids live far away from their grandparents so they stay in touch by phone, through email, and with letters. Other kids live close to their grandparents, making it easy to visit often. And still other kids - more than 5 million in the United States - live with their grandparents.
Sometimes, the family is sharing the grandparents' house and sometimes the grandparent moves into the family's house or apartment. Maybe your grandmother moved in with your family because she was having trouble living alone. Or maybe your grandparents take care of you in place of your mom or dad.
Being a grandparent is a big job, but grandparents have a lot of experience. They raised and cared for your parent when he or she was a kid! And grandparents have been the heads of households since the beginning of time. In many cultures - Native American and Chinese, for instance - grandparents are looked up to as a source of wisdom.

When a Grandparent Moves In

Any change can be difficult to adjust to. So even if you love your grandfather, it may be tough when he moves in. Your grandfather will need a room to sleep in and everyone will have to learn to share the bathroom and the TV. Try to be as nice as you can during this time. Your grandparent may have trouble settling into a house that isn't his or her own.
After the adjustment period, you might find you enjoy having someone else in the house and a new person to spend time with. Grandparents often tell the best stories - interesting tales about when they were kids. You might start by asking them how many miles they had to walk to school each day!
If your grandparent needs help, you might be the one to lend a hand. And your grandparent might be able to help you by playing a game with you or fixing you a snack after school. If your grandparent needs a lot of help or is ill, your parents will help care for him or her. In some cases, a nurse might visit your house.
As your household gets bigger, you may feel left out or decide you need more of your parents' attention. Share your feelings if you feel this way. Maybe your mom or dad can schedule some special time with you. Your parents will appreciate it if you pitch in around the house and do a few more chores than usual. This can be really helpful when there's so much to do.
When You Move In With a Grandparent
Quite a few kids live with grandparents who take care of them in place of their moms or dads. These are often loving relationships, but it can be a challenging situation for both the kid and the grandparent. Kids who live with grandparents may miss their moms or dads and wish they could live with them instead. The grandparent may find it difficult to keep up with a kid and all of his or her needs.
Talk with your grandparent, or another trusted adult, if you have some of these feelings. Often the solution is that both the kid and the grandparent work together. The grandkid can help by working hard in school, staying out of trouble, and helping around the house. The grandparent can try to be understanding about what it's like to be a kid these days. Loving and caring for each other can be the glue that keeps everything together.
And one more thing: You might want to put the first Sunday after Labor Day on your calendar. Why? It's Grandparent's Day!
Reviewed by: Colleen Sherman, PhD

Reclaim Your Family Time for a Happier Home

Reclaim Your Family Time for a Happier Home

From Robin McClure,

Take Control of the Chaos

Is your family becoming almost like strangers, meeting each other coming and going from one activity to another? Slow down, take control, and schedule in family time to foster a well-balanced and all-around happier family. Here's how:

Start with a family meeting. Even young children can participate in a discussion that can be as general as asking what kids and adults would like to see to have a happier family. Ask about their activities, and their commitment to them. Do they love something or are they doing it because either you or their friends expect them to? Is it fun or stressful? Take this time to ask about whether they have other pursuits they'd like to consider, desire more unstructured time, or whether they feel their life is just right as it is. Avoid leading kids into any answers and don't make them feel something is "wrong" with their family life now.
Tell them you just want to check and make sure of everyone's contentment with things and whether they feel the family as a whole is effectively balancing school, family time, work and community.

Pick a family night. Designate one night a week as family time. It can be a movie night, game night, pizza or take-out night, entertainment night (such as karaoke or dance performances), or even a time to exercise together (ride bikes, go for a walk, or go to the park). The point is to be together in a quality fashion. Having a spouse plop in front of the television, a teen playing video or computer games, or young kids relegated to a back room does not bond family togetherness. Do things together, and discuss the coming week's activities to build enthusiasm and momentum for family time together.
Encourage kid friendships. Sure, your food bill may soar, but encourage children to bring their friends over, stay for dinner, and participate in family time. Time with friends in unstructured play helps to build relationships, learn things like give and take and sharing, and also how different families do things differently. For parents, having your kids' friends come to your house means that not only do you know who your child is hanging out with, what he's doing and where he is at, but it helps to foster a greater level of understanding as to what makes your child tick. Just observing kids interact and play helps parents to better understand their child's interests and passions, which in turn can be utilized in future family time gatherings.
Eat together. You've heard this before, but child experts really emphasize that this simple act improves family time with members through conversation and togetherness. Research clearly shows that eating meals as a family is one of the most important things you can do to stay connected, especially with older children and teens. Eating meals together should be seen as a positive experience, important, and a priority. It's a chance to casually ask about a child's day, interests, concerns, needs, and a great way to initiate good ol' talk time.
Share responsibilities. Children really should be active contributors to the household. Get kids involved with taking out the trash, setting the table, cooking meals, cleaning up after themselves, or raking leaves. It's even better if these chores can be done in conjunction with family time so all members contribute in some way. Kids won't always do the same quality job as adults, but they need to start somewhere, and will improve with positive encouragement and reinforcement.
Set reasonable expectations for activity levels. Some kids want to participation in everything, and are perfectly happy to have structured activities each night of the week. With other kids, parents have to push and prod to get them to willingly participate in even a single activity. Balance is the key for happiness and overall family time quality. Consider a child's age and interests and be sure to weigh those against what your own dreams of what you hope your kids will thrive in. Accept that your kid's may not share your passions or interests, and then find out what does make them excel.
Make sure it's possible. Many activities nowadays require an increasing amount of time and financial resources. Consider transportation, practice conflicts that will require juggling to be on time and get picked up on time, and missed games or competitions due to being only one place at a time. Be sure your family finances can afford activities such as all-star cheer, competitive dance, or select sports, which can require traveling, additional uniforms, and equipment purchases.