Reclaim Your Family Time for a Happier Home

Reclaim Your Family Time for a Happier Home

From Robin McClure,

Take Control of the Chaos

Is your family becoming almost like strangers, meeting each other coming and going from one activity to another? Slow down, take control, and schedule in family time to foster a well-balanced and all-around happier family. Here's how:

Start with a family meeting. Even young children can participate in a discussion that can be as general as asking what kids and adults would like to see to have a happier family. Ask about their activities, and their commitment to them. Do they love something or are they doing it because either you or their friends expect them to? Is it fun or stressful? Take this time to ask about whether they have other pursuits they'd like to consider, desire more unstructured time, or whether they feel their life is just right as it is. Avoid leading kids into any answers and don't make them feel something is "wrong" with their family life now.
Tell them you just want to check and make sure of everyone's contentment with things and whether they feel the family as a whole is effectively balancing school, family time, work and community.

Pick a family night. Designate one night a week as family time. It can be a movie night, game night, pizza or take-out night, entertainment night (such as karaoke or dance performances), or even a time to exercise together (ride bikes, go for a walk, or go to the park). The point is to be together in a quality fashion. Having a spouse plop in front of the television, a teen playing video or computer games, or young kids relegated to a back room does not bond family togetherness. Do things together, and discuss the coming week's activities to build enthusiasm and momentum for family time together.
Encourage kid friendships. Sure, your food bill may soar, but encourage children to bring their friends over, stay for dinner, and participate in family time. Time with friends in unstructured play helps to build relationships, learn things like give and take and sharing, and also how different families do things differently. For parents, having your kids' friends come to your house means that not only do you know who your child is hanging out with, what he's doing and where he is at, but it helps to foster a greater level of understanding as to what makes your child tick. Just observing kids interact and play helps parents to better understand their child's interests and passions, which in turn can be utilized in future family time gatherings.
Eat together. You've heard this before, but child experts really emphasize that this simple act improves family time with members through conversation and togetherness. Research clearly shows that eating meals as a family is one of the most important things you can do to stay connected, especially with older children and teens. Eating meals together should be seen as a positive experience, important, and a priority. It's a chance to casually ask about a child's day, interests, concerns, needs, and a great way to initiate good ol' talk time.
Share responsibilities. Children really should be active contributors to the household. Get kids involved with taking out the trash, setting the table, cooking meals, cleaning up after themselves, or raking leaves. It's even better if these chores can be done in conjunction with family time so all members contribute in some way. Kids won't always do the same quality job as adults, but they need to start somewhere, and will improve with positive encouragement and reinforcement.
Set reasonable expectations for activity levels. Some kids want to participation in everything, and are perfectly happy to have structured activities each night of the week. With other kids, parents have to push and prod to get them to willingly participate in even a single activity. Balance is the key for happiness and overall family time quality. Consider a child's age and interests and be sure to weigh those against what your own dreams of what you hope your kids will thrive in. Accept that your kid's may not share your passions or interests, and then find out what does make them excel.
Make sure it's possible. Many activities nowadays require an increasing amount of time and financial resources. Consider transportation, practice conflicts that will require juggling to be on time and get picked up on time, and missed games or competitions due to being only one place at a time. Be sure your family finances can afford activities such as all-star cheer, competitive dance, or select sports, which can require traveling, additional uniforms, and equipment purchases.