Family Legends and Myths

Family Legends and Myths
by Sharon DeBartolo Carmack, CG
Watching Out for Red Flags
Many families have cherished myths and stories about their immigration to America or other pivotal events and people. Sharon DeBartolo Carmack shos you how to determine which family legends are true, and what to do if you prove one false.
"Great-grandma was a Cherokee Indian princess, you know." At the family reunion or while interviewing relatives, you might hear family stories like this or other lore about your forebears. Nearly everyone has a story that has been handed down about their ancestors. Some of these legends may be quite factual; others are myth. Almost all family stories have some grain of truth, however. Family legends aren't usually created out of thin air, and that tiny grain of truth may be the clue that leads you to genealogical success. There are many myths that have worked their way into family stories, and perhaps you've already heard some of these. Often, they are about ethnic origins or how the family came to America. If you haven't heard any of these common legends yet, make yourself aware of some of the most common ones, since you may eventually hear variations as you talk with family members.
The Cherokee Indian Princess Myth
It's always a Cherokee princess, almost never Navajo or Apache or Pueblo or Lumbee. Native American ancestry is an extremely common family story, and it seems it is always to an Indian princess. The Cherokee, of course, are a large tribe with a diverse culture, divided by the Trail of Tears. They intermarried widely, perhaps increasing the likelihood of Cherokee/white ancestry.
One reason this princess myth may have evolved is prejudice. For those who frowned upon a white male ancestor marrying an Indian woman, elevating the woman's status to princess made the truth easier to swallow. Keep in mind that any story that says you have Native American ancestry — often Cherokee — may in itself be a myth. Even though it's currently an "in" thing to have Native American ancestry, just a few decades ago, it might have been the skeleton in your family's closet. Proving certain ethnic ancestry can be difficult because of prejudice or popularity toward a culture at any given time. Throughout history, some people who were victims of prejudice may have tried to hide their native origins by changing their name or claiming a different ethnicity.
The Three Brothers Myth
It's always three brothers who immigrated to America, never two or four or five or six. Sometimes one is lost at sea during the voyage over, or one went north, one went south, and one headed west, never to be heard from again. There are never any sisters involved in the big move across the ocean. Be wary of the brothers myth, and always keep an eye out for additional siblings both in America and once you start foreign research. You also want to confirm through your research that there were, in fact, three brothers, that the three brothers were indeed brothers and not two brothers and an uncle, for example, or that the three brothers weren't just three men with the same last name.
The Stowaway Myth
For some reason, it is so much more romantic to have an ancestor who came to America as a stowaway rather than a paying passenger. While there are cases of people who actually did sneak aboard ships, this was not common practice. If the stowaway was discovered enroute, typically, he will be recorded on the last page of the passenger arrival list. I deliberately use "he" because you almost never hear a story about great-grandma being a stowaway. Even if you have the family story of a stowaway, still check for a passenger arrival list, since if he was discovered and recorded on the passenger list, he'll likely be on the index, too.
The Claim-to-Fame Myth
Everyone who has the surname Bradford or Alden is related to William Bradford and John Alden of Mayflower fame, right? And everyone with the last name of Boone is related to Daniel. And if your last name is James, you're related to Jesse, of course. If you do have Native American ancestry, then you must be descended from Pocahontas. Is that a red flag I see flying? We all want a famous person to hang on our family tree, but we may not find that person. I'm supposedly related to Robert E. Lee. My research revealed that I really am. He's something like a ninth cousin, twenty times removed.
The Wrong Ethnic Identity Myth
All Germans are Hessians who fought in the American Revolution. All French are Huguenots. All Hispanics are Mexican. Of course, none of these broad statements is true. We tend to lump certain groups of people incorrectly into one category. "German" is not a distinct enough identifier in genealogy any more than "Indian" or "Hispanic." If family stories indicate that your ancestors were German or from Germany, were they Germans from Imperial Germany, Alsatians, Austrians, Swiss, Luxembourgers, Germans from Russia, or Poles from Germany? Even the records you uncover may not tell you more than "Germany." This is why it is so important to learn the unique cultural traits — customs, traditions, folkways — about the ethnic group.
Names, too, may be inaccurate indicators of ethnic identity. Just because the name sounds Italian, is it? The name you are accustomed to may have been changed or inadvertently corrupted over time, obscuring its ethnic origins.
The Ellis Island Baptism Myth
This is the myth that an immigrant ancestor's surname was changed by officials during processing at Ellis Island. No evidence whatsoever exists to suggest this ever occurred. During its operation as an immigrant receiving station (1892-1954), Ellis Island was staffed with hundreds of interpreters who spoke more than thirty different languages. Inspectors compared the names the immigrants told them against what was recorded on the passenger lists. These lists were created at the ports of departure. There was no reason to record or change anyone's surname once they arrived on the island. More likely, immigrants themselves changed their names after they settled in America to avoid prejudice and to blend more easily into American society.
Handling the Myth in Research and Writing
Now that I've shattered your favorite family story, how do you tell Grandpa? Or should you? And how do you handle ancient family legends that you've discovered through your research are false? Family legends are part of your family history and should never be ignored or taken lightly. As mentioned earlier, there is usually a kernel of truth to the family story. Rather than bursting Grandpa's bubble with the facts, try to find out how the story originated. When you write your family history, include the family story as it was told to you, noting it as family "tradition" or "lore" or "legend." Then explain, if you can, how the story originated, followed by a discussion of your research findings. You may reveal that some elements of a story were true and some were false, or that a story was totally false. Even if you have not been able to prove or disprove the story, acknowledge the lore and say it has yet to be proven. These family stories give color to your family history, so record and share them as what they are.About the Author
Sharon DeBartolo Carmack is a Certified Genealogist, editor of Betterway Genealogy Books, contributing editor for Family Tree Magazine, and the author of eight books, including A Genealogist's Guide to Discovering Your Female Ancestors. Sharon also teaches online courses in personal/family memoir writing. This how-to article was adapted from Sharon's book A Genealogist's Guide to Discovering Your Immigrant and Ethnic Ancestry. Topics include how to get your research started, the history of major ethnic groups in America, and how to turn your research into a family narrative.

Old Family Traditions And The New Generation

Carried forward through the years by each new generation, old family traditions are a powerful means of strengthening the bonds that hold families together. Old family traditions often serve to connect the older generation with the new Generation, encouraging interaction through shared activities, and can also offer a way for families separated by distance to feel close.
Many of the most meaningful old family traditions revolve around food, with families gathering to eat and celebrate together. Often the foods served at the meal are determined by tradition, with recipes passed down from generation to generation or specific family members preparing their specialties year after year.
That food should serve as a centerpiece for so many of the old family traditions that are passed to the new generation comes as no surprise. Food is essential to survival, and being grateful for the success of its production, whether through agriculture or the hunt, is at the base of not only many old family traditions, but also many of the world’s ancient religions.
Celebrating the abundance of the harvest is done throughout the world, with each culture giving rise to a particular set of old family traditions. However, as different as these cultures may be, the foundation of these celebrations is the gathering together of families to feast, to share food, to break bread.
There are many old family traditions designed specifically to celebrate the new generation. Some are as lighthearted and fun as the yearly birthday gathering for cake, ice cream and gifts. Others are built upon meaningful, often symbolic, rituals marking the milestones along the path to maturity. In each, it is the older generation celebrating the progress of the new generation, as one day that generation will do for its own children.
Even when families cannot gather together, which is increasingly common today as families find their members scattered throughout the nation and even the world, old family traditions can help to maintain family ties. Knowing that thousands of miles away, other family members are engaged in the same activities can help keep that feeling of closeness among family members.
Often the new generation uses old family traditions to honor those who have passed before them. Many children learn the history of their families in this way, listening as family members share memories of those who are no longer with them and of their own childhood remembrances. Sometimes it is the old family traditions that hold a family together, the adult siblings continuing to gather with their children after their parents have died.
Participating in the old family traditions builds memories that will last a lifetime, and serves to build relationships, not only between the old and new generations, but also amongst those that will be continuing the families as the elder members pass away. Teaching the new generation to honor old family traditions can help to preserve the family through the years, even through the times when its members cannot gather together, fostering a sense of belonging that will be a source of joy for years to come.

By Abraham Antony

The fate of the family - Forums delve into two sides of debate

Forums delve into two sides of debate

By Cheryl WetzsteinThe Washington TimesWASHINGTON

The fate of the family is the focus of two major conferences this month. This weekend at the University of Chicago, the Council on Contemporary Families (CCF) will celebrate its 10th anniversary by presenting the most intriguing research on the American family. The 75 new findings "really highlight how the pressures, promises and dynamics of family life have changed over the past 10 years," said clinical psychologist Joshua Coleman, who edited the CCF report, released today. The CCF report indicates that marriage is becoming more egalitarian and more optional, that many women are satisfied living a single life, and that, despite their workloads, modern parents are spending more time with their children than parents in the "golden era" of the nuclear family in 1965. Married mothers spent 12.9 hours a week caring for their children in 2000, compared with 10.6 hours a week in 1965, while fathers more than doubled their weekly child care from 2.6 hours to 6.5 hours, said research by University of Maryland sociology professor Suzanne M. Bianchi. One big reason, she and her colleagues found: less time spent on housework. CCF speakers this weekend include some 30 family scholars, including Evergreen State College history professor Stephanie Coontz and Philip A. Cowan and Carolyn Pape Cowan, both professors emeritus at the University of California at Berkeley.

Parent's Involvement in Children's Education

The importance of parental involvement as an accelerating and motivating factor in their children’s education is a worldwide-accepted fact. This research project provides an in depth explanation along with specific reasons, the importance of parents’ involvement in their children’s education. It also discusses the parenting techniques, their types and their consequences if neglected. It also describes the ways to measure the outcome of the positive parental involvement. Furthermore, it mentions the teachers involvement and the difficulties faced by the teachers in getting parents involved in their children’s (this is further supported by the examples of two teachers who with their deliberate efforts won the parents over to devote their maximum attention towards their children), single-parent involvement, children’s own efforts to improve their academic levels and joint home-school based interventions. A detailed analysis of the different main ideas is given, based on the findings from other research surveys and projects.INTRODUCTION:Parental involvement can be seen to fall into three types: 1) Behavioral, 2) Intellectual and 3) Personal. The research explores the effect of multi-dimensional participation of parents and the resulting progress of children in their studies when different parental resources were dedicated to them. Actively participating parents help their children in their academic development by going to schools and participating in open houses. By keenly observing the behavior of their children they can rightly judge the kind of behavior or the allocation of resources required by their children. Such caring parents can also motivate teachers to become more attentive towards a particular student, thus maintaining the cycle of parent-teacher involvement. Encourage Building up cognitive and perception abilities in a child are a major concern in the upbringing of the child. The way the parents involve their children in cognitive learning is by exposing them to different cognitively stimulating activities and materials such as books, electronic media and current events at home. This helps the child to practice all sorts of language comprehending skills at the school. The results show a remarkably positive behavior at the school and with peers.Two parenting processes namely the Supportive Parenting (SP) and Harsh Parenting (HP) helped a lot in the research of parental involvement in their children’s education. By adjusting the levels of supportive parenting, different levels of successful outcomes were observed. Supportive parenting in even kindergarten students yielded positive results. Four measures of supportive parenting were used in the study, they were:

By Alex Martin