Parenting adolescents - How to talk to your teenager - teenage parenting is tough

Parenting adolescents is a huge challenge but with communication, teenage parenting can be made easier for you and your child. One of the hardest things in parenting adolescents is communicating in the right way, and here are some ways that teenage parenting can be made a little less stressful:

Firstly, recognize opportunities to talk. Whether you're driving your teen somewhere or sharing the washing up, you have a chance to talk. The pressure of 'having to have a chat' isn't there and you may find that it is a time your teen can open up to you. One mistake that many people make in teenage parenting is to try and talk when it suits them and not when it suits their teen. If your son is in the middle of trying to beat a high score on his latest game, or your daughter is just leaving the house, they are not going to want to talk! So pick your time, even if you have to be a little creative about creating an opportunity - parenting adolescents isn't just about authority, it's about creativity too!

Secondly, think about what you say. Everybody knows teenagers who answer in words of one syllable, or who grunt responses. Don't ask them yes or no questions or they will continue to do it. Ask them open ended questions like, 'What happened at the football match?" You may still get a "nothing" or an "I don't know" answer but at least it increases the chances of a longer reply and a continuing conversation. Don't try and turn the conversation round to suit your needs. Parenting adolescents is hard enough without trying to create more problems. Bombarding them with demands, instructions, or questions you want answered, when they are actually talking to you about something else will make them feel unwanted and unimportant which will make teenage parenting even more difficult for you.

Lastly, think about how you react. Show your teen the same respect you would show other people. Give your full attention to the conversation, don't try and multi-task and don't veer off into talking about your day if they seem bored listening to it. You will probably be tempted to try and impose your views onto your teen at some time, but give your child space and support to formulate their own ideas about the world - they will become a much stronger person for doing so. Parenting adolescents can be very hard when they do rebel against the 'family ideals' and it is likely to happen to some extent at some point. However, if you do hear something you don't like, don't jump to conclusions and assume the worst. Take a deep breath and say you will talk about it later if you feel you are going to react in an angry way. Teenage parenting is stressful enough, without knee-jerk reactions making things worse.

It is difficult to remember that our parents had the same problems parenting adolescents as we do today, but they did. If you manage to communicate with your teenager you are doing really well. Try and think about ways you can talk to your teenager - are there activities you can do together? Think about what you say to them - try and see things through their eyes. Think about how you react - keep calm. Bear these three things in mind and teenage parenting may just get a little less fraught.

Source:Search articles

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Raising children

Raising children is the most important job in the world. Raising children is a wonderful and challenging life experience. Here's the problem: people assume that raising children is only the job of the women, men do not take child raising seriously in our culture. If raising children is so hard, why do people still want to have kids? Downgrading the importance of raising children is the greatest evil of our times. It is time to face it, raising children is the responsibility of parents. Raising children is a never-ending job. Raising children is much harder than it looks, but with patience and hope, children can mature into very emotionally-secure adults.

Child care is a partnership. Child care is a necessary part of life for many families. First-time parents explore and document the care and development of a human baby. Do you feel comfortable with someone else taking care of your child? Taking care of yourself is a vital part of keeping your child safe. No job is more important to you than taking care of your own child. I don't think that the care of children should be gender specific.

Parents play a very important role in when raising children in a safe and loving home homes. Parents recognize and deal with their children's most challenging traits in a positive manner. Parents earning low or moderate incomes are under extreme pressure to meet the costs of raising children and overall household expenses. All parents face challenges in raising children. Parents decide to accept the responsibility of raising children. Therefore, workshop models for teaching parents how to cope with the stress associated with raising children has been developed.

Good child care provides parents with an extended family to help share in the challenges and joys of raising children. Creating a stable family environment and raising children should be a joy. It recognizes the critical role that the family plays in American society and in raising children. Poor family values and poor communication skills with children is what leads children to rebel. Siblings can cause many joys and frustrations in any family. It is difficult to balance this philosophy with a family life that places value on raising children.

Raising children is not an easy task. Raising children is at heart a practice that engages and embodies a rich variety of developed and undeveloped theories. The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. Like all parents, they have found that raising children is both challenging and unpredictable. It seems to me that raising children is a catch-22 when it comes to finances

Source: Ezine

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Making The Connection With Your Children

There are many different levels of connecting. When you call out to your child from another room you are not yet connected, you are just putting out what I will term a location finder signal. By the second and third times when you don't get a response, your frustration is rising. You are in reaction mode.

Why weren't you getting a response? Possibly your child's music or television  are too loud for you to be heard. Perhaps your child is on the phone, on the computer, watching a video or totally absorbed in some activity. The reality is that you are not connected yet.

As you become more irritated with each attempt you can feel your emotional temperature rising in frustration. As frustration increases, it is natural to begin assigning meaning to why you are not getting a response. Since you are filling in the blanks while in an emotional state, you are likely to be telling yourself negative messages. You begin drawing on what happened before when you were ignored. Perhaps you think, "...never listens to me".

When you reach your child after searching, your irritation has peaked based on the thought that your child never listens to you. The brain takes the feelings and the thought and puts them together so that the message you give yourself seems to be reality. Once you locate your child you call out their name with a tone that reflects your irritation. The three letter adolescent "huh" response you are likely to get, may set off your hot button. Perhaps you respond in a harsh tone or by yelling.

What you get back from your child is likely to be an upset, defensive, anxious reaction in response to your hyper excited emotional state. By the time you actually ask your child to do something, neither one of you are reacting to the request, you are both reacting to the emotional tone. This type of interaction can become a pattern, with toxic fallout.

The first step in connecting with your child is to have direct face to face interaction, in which there is no attitude, just engagement. No more shortcuts of calling across a room or across a house. Taking the time out-front to calmly make that face to face connection means you are focused on what is really important, connecting.

The photo above stimulates warm loving feelings. Think of the times with your hand over your child's beating heart and the mystery and joy of connecting. Photos, even slogans such as "reach out and touch someone" can have powerful influences in how we feel. Imagine reaching out and connecting with your child in a tender loving manner. Then realize that is what we live for, what makes everything feel worthwhile, the times of loving connection. We don't want to damage those precious moments by disconnecting. For every interaction, keep in mind step one of this plan, connect! Our connection brings joy and reminds us of why we invest so much into our children day after day.

Source:Self growth

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Anger Management - Teenage Girls and Boys

Anger management for teenage girls and  boy's  may not be hard as you initially first thought. There are sound and proven ways in dealing with teenage anger management issues that are time tested to work.

Teenage anger management is really something a parent does not need to deal with when the are bringing up their family in a safe and secure environment. But, there are occasions when the teenager does have anger management issues that need to be dealt with. No one can deny that a teenager  who suffers with anger, is really not to blame for having feelings of this nature. Once that one point is identified, that is, the teenager is not at fault, then  the issue can be successfully dealt with. There will be nothing to gain by having the teenager feeling unsupported and responsible for their own feelings.

The  angry teenage needs to be supported and provided with a nurturing environment. Feeling safe at home for the teenager is one very important point in dealing with anger management issues. Once the teenager is secure in their environment then other techniques can be used such as communication and respect. Often anger management comes from the teenager feeling unloved or insecure and they are just reaching out in the only way they know how to, possibly in genuine anger and frustration or a small attempt to get the attention they so fondly deserve. So far we have discussed several issues that might bring on teenage anger. What has happened here is that some issues have been readily identified and none of those  issues cannot be satisfactory dealt with. Anger management is an individual issue and not a common issue that teenagers suddenly "catch". It is this way, identifying what the issues are, that can be addressed and a plan put in place.

To draw an analogy of this, if the anger results from an insecure home, then make it secure. If the anger issue results from neglect and feelings of being unloved, then change those feelings and make an effort. These are simple ideas to resolve such consequences of anger in the teenager. When talking with the teenager and looking at their environment, friends, family and schooling, it can readily be identified what it is that is feeding the anger in the teenager. Addressing this anger will allow the teenager to make choices in their life and realize that being angry is not going to be the best path to take. The teenager themselves will know what it is that makes them angry. One case was  were the daughter felt her Father did not respect her and she felt unwanted. Of course the teenage girl would lash out in anger to male authoritative figures such as school teachers and the Fathers of her friends.

When this issue was identified, the teenager could openly discuss her feelings and state why she felt such anger. Then the teenager was able to put into prospective that other males were not like her Father and should not be treated the same. More importantly the Father was made aware of the problem, when basically he simply did not realize his daughter felt that way, and he was able to make an effort to build and reinforce their relationship. There are many ways in dealing with teenage anger management in both girls, boys and children. Even the adults might learn something new.

Source:Buzzle

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TEACHING CHILDREN RESPONSIBILITY - WHAT IT REALLY MEANS & HOW TO DO IT

Two year old knocks over his cup of juice and it spills onto the hardwood floor. His mother frowns. "Look at what you've done," she hisses, pointing at the cup. "This is the third time today!" The child hangs his head. Something tugs at the mother's heart, but she can't stop herself from sighing heavily, as she bends down to wipe the floor.

Perhaps you've been witness to such a scene or maybe you've been a participant. There are so many things happening in this moment that it helps to take a close look at the parent-child dynamic and interplay. The first and most important thing to notice is how the mother blames and shames the child. She makes him feel bad about what was most likely an accident. If she thinks she's teaching responsibility, she's wrong. In fact, the only thing the little boy has learned is that he feels bad about himself. Sure, he may be more careful about spilling in the future, but that will be driven by a sense of shame, rather than responsibility.

This kind of scenario is not unique to parenthood, but extends into our greater culture. When something happens that we don't like, we point a blaming finger. This strikes at the heart of the American allegiance to cause and effect: if something happened, someone must have caused it; therefore, it must be that person's fault. The guilty party must be blamed, shamed and often humiliated publicly. This suffering is part of what the offender must endure in order to make things right. Of course, it feels much better to be the accuser, than to stand accused, so righteous indignation fuels the fire and at least partially explains why some people are so quick to blame.

While some crimes must be punished, spilling a glass of juice isn't one of them. Even  if it was the child's third spill that day. As caring parents, we must find alternatives to assigning fault. Contrary to popular belief, teaching children responsibility does not need to built from a sense of shame

About ten years ago, I witnessed a family eating dinner in a restaurant and the way they behaved when their youngest daughter overturned her glass of milk has stayed with me ever since. Without a trace of disapproval, the mother said, "It's okay, sweetie. We'll help you clean it up." Then every member of the family grabbed their napkin and wiped until the spill was gone, including the youngest member of the family who looked like she was only three years old.

This, of course, is key and the essence of teaching children responsibility--the willingness to respond, no matter what the situation. Think about it for a moment because it's quite profound. Nobody blamed or shamed. No one was left feeling bad. There was no righteous indignation and thus, no drama. Instead, everyone helped clean up the mess. The message sent? It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to be human. When accidents happen, other people will pitch in and help.

What I witnessed that day was humanity in action--people helping people. If you see the value of teaching responsibility, then teach kids to be responsive to their environment. Model this behavior by acting, rather than reacting. If something happens, whatever it is, ask other family members to help. Show them how quickly messes can be done and over with if everyone lends a hand.

For those of you who grew up in families that blamed and shamed as mine did, you'll know that it often takes years to recover from the impact of those wounds. Blame gets internalized as shame. Shame profoundly affects all aspects of your life, especially how you feel about yourself.

A story about a friend of mine will illustrate how deeply blaming wounds. My friend grew up feeling so ashamed of herself that she imagined that she must have done something horrible. The worst thing that she could think of was that maybe she'd killed someone. She said that she feared that one day people would discover what a bad person she was and she'd be sent to prison forever. After years of therapy, she realized that what was making her feel that way was all those layers of blame and shame. Her shame had imprisoned her and the person she'd killed had been herself.

Teaching children responsibility happens when you model responsiveness. Above all, remember to be gentle with the souls it is your job to tend.

sourse: family matters

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Looking after our parents

Parents are even above God that need to be worshipped and not thrown out of their own homes. Mother is the one who carries a child in her womb for nine months and nurtures the baby in his childhood. Father is the one who gives all the financial support and the love to bring that baby up and to make him a dignified person in the society. If his parents would not have supported him, he would not have reached the good position that he is in today. Every children needs to be thankful for the support given by the parents. Putting them out of the home, for the sake of seizing the property is a selfish and inhuman practice. Looking after old parents is a responsibility of every child, any child not willing to do so should also not have any right over the parental property and assets.

The properties earned by the parents are their own. There is no rule that those properties have to be given to their children. They can even donate it to charity. But it is the courtesy of the parents that giving the property to the children has been a universal practice. For such kindness, at least we need to have the courtesy of looking after them till their death. Otherwise that will be a worst curse for children, throughout their life. So, there is the need of awareness about the moral teaching and the responsibility of the children about looking after their parents till their death. In case of any inhuman practice, there should be a strict law of punishing the children and giving the immediate solution for it.

What people need to realize is that what they have done to their parents, the same will be done to them one day by their own children. The more you will look after your old parents, the better you will be looked after in your old age. So whatever you give is what you get

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Holiday Child and Teenage Mannequin Displays

Are you looking for ideas for bringing your mannequins to life this holiday season?  Good for you!  So many retail stores simply throw a Santa hat on their mannequin and say that they're done.  Getting your displays ready for the holidays should be a fun and creatively satisfying experience.  Your efforts are more beneficial if you actually create scenes that evoke holiday feelings of wanting to give in your customers.

Here are a few ideas that you can use in your retail window displays.  Use them as a guide or simply as inspiration when designing your showcase display.

A lot of parents will buy clothing for their children during the holiday season.  Parents will want to see their children in a certain light.  If you create a display that makes children look precious, loving, excited or happy this holiday season, you are sure to pull at the heartstrings of the parents.

Use child mannequins to create Christmas morning scenes.  Lighting is important here because harsh lighting and fluorescent lights can detract from the feeling you are trying to communicate.  You can even have your window display box dimly lit with lamps, electric candles, or Christmas lights.  This is the time of year when you can really increase your sales, so go all out on your displays.  You can build a staircase coming down with the children peeking through the bars.  They could spot Santa playing with the puppy that he is leaving for them.  Another idea is to communicate a child's excitement when they are opening a gift.  Or, you can show a child sleeping peacefully by the fire.

Here are some ideas for older children.  Teenagers are really like young adults and often buy presents for each other.  So, you really don't have to target parents to have an effective teenage window display, but you do want to keep parents in mind.  Teenagers are really into accessorizing, so use a lot of your accessories like purses, hats, and jewelry when you set up your mannequins.

An idea involving teenagers could be something like a female mannequin opening her locker to discover a small wrapped gift from a secret admirer.  You can have a group of male mannequins hanging around, seemingly uninterested, but one boy is secretly looking at her.  You can also set up a "best friends" scene.  You can use a dress mannequin or two to show two girl friends giggling and whispering.  Behind them, you can place a shy looking female mannequin and a male mannequin passing her a gift.

Whenever you come up with an idea, ask yourself if it purposely communicates a feeling.  Is this a feeling that your target audience is looking to find when they shop in your store?  If so, then your mannequins can make a big difference in your sales this holiday season.

Source: article base

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